Dear Mishel,
You clearly articulate the slippery slide into deception. From the initial pride of being "more spiritual" than others around you to the supression of the Truth within that is trying to warn you something is dangerously wrong!
Why are we not strong enough to trust the Holy Spirit within us when He warns us? I remember as a very young believer sitting in Church listening to my pastor teach that the priest and Levite who passed the beat up man in the "Good Samaritan" parable were doing the more important command. OBEYING the Lord, rather than stopping and showing compassion to the wounded man was God's priority! As he twisted the scriptures and gave his interpretation of how obedience to God in their religious duties was more important than helping the wounded man, I sensed a big "NO" inside. Yet, I thought my pastor could not be wrong, he studies the Bible all the time. How could he be wrong and I be right? So I quenched the Holy Spirit's warning.
I could write a book on how many times that happened over the years.I know in group settings we can form attachments to people, couple that with the ungodly teaching of "don't speak against God's anointed" and you can stop discerning really quickly!We do this to "belong" and get along.
There is a cost to standing on the side of truth.
BUT when one is truly born of the Holy Spirit, even as a babe in Christ He attempts to lead us into all truth. I was new to the Bible at the time so I was not grounded in truthful doctrine. I just didn't have the courage and strength to follow the Lord Jesus and the discernment He had put within me.
It's been a long, painful and at times confusing journey to get to this place of testing what is taught against the Scriptures.
Thanks for writing your story, you are a very clear and gifted writer IMHO.